Mama

By Sara Rehman

I think the reason our mothers suffer so much
Is because they sacrifice their dreams for ours
Is because they sacrifice their health for ours.

Like a fish taken out of the ocean
And dropped into a tank,
Her heart suffers
Her throat suffocates
Her health depletes
She must return to her home to feel alive again.

I don’t think my words can give justice to her
To her dreams
To her voice
To her compassion,
But I hope my prayers cover her like the hijab she wears
To protect her
To love her
To guide her.

It’s a lonely world after all.

Some give birth to their children,
And raise them with the compassion a flower needs
To bloom.

However, some give birth
To their pain, suffering, and trauma,
And the flower grows and grows,
But stays wilted,
No matter how bright the sun shines on her henna’d hair.

I choose to remain strong,
Hardheaded and stubborn,
Because that is how her world has made me.

But I also choose to still love her,
Despite the torment in my head when I breathe out
Wind storms from my lungs.

She is alone, quiet, in the dark, reading her Quran, or trying to reach through her phone screen
to feel her sisters across thousands of miles.

My heart aches for her.

I wish to give her everything that I can,
But I know my honesty will hurt her.

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Sara Rehman is a Muslim American advocate and activist that is a member of the 4th SAYHU Summer Institute cohort. After graduating from the University of Houston with a degree in Women’s, Gender & Sexuality Studies and Political Science, Sara has been an advocate working at the Houston Area Women’s Center working in the Domestic Violence shelter and now Development. Sara plans to go to law school next fall to continue her feminist activist work.