South Asians & Mental Health

In the South Asian community, mental health is a taboo topic and it is continuously denied as a reality that affects people all around the world. Today, many South Asians suffer in silence due to the stigma behind mental health. As a people, South Asians bring forth their best efforts to show their resilience and suppress weakness and vulnerability. At SAYHU, we work collectively to offer safe, non-judgmental spaces for a diverse group of people to have these rare, yet difficult, conversations.

We aim to provide resources and support one another as we build a community of empowerment—with particularly attention our mental health during the ongoing global pandemic. Below are some of the themes that play a major role in South Asian culture and our people’s lives/experiences that directly impact our mental health. And we’ve also shared below some places we can recommend that you might look for support.

Image from @browngirltherapy on Instagram — Image from **@browngirltherapy** on Instagram

Boundaries

Within South Asian culture, boundaries are hard if not impossible to maintain due to the influences of collectivist culture. According to societal and family norms, there was more emphasis on spending energy on others, rather than focusing on oneself. The concept of "me time" or "self care" is looked down upon as selfish and unnecessary while spending all free time with family is seen as a duty and expectation.

When individuals neglect their mental health and don't take time for themselves, they may experience emotional fatigue. For most people, emotional fatigue can manifest as physical symptoms. Continuous neglect of mental health can present to others as frustration and can often find its way into relationships and impact them negatively.

Parents & Expectations

As society changes with each passing generation, the differences add up. Today, this holds significant truth in families with immigrant parents and first-generation children in the Western world. Assimilation and the blending of cultures complicates the first-generation experience—we may struggle to find a balance between our parents' culture and the culture of our birth/residing land. Values and belief systems clash which may create a rift between parents and children as they both hold on to the ideologies of the generations they are a product of.

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Issues may arise in families when there is a lack of communication on the expectations of each family member. When parents immigrate to another country, they often come with the aspirations of a better quality of life for themselves and their family. They build new lives and hope to pass on those opportunities to their children to build on. There is pressure associated with non-verbalized expectations that creates tension between parents and their children.

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There are many factors that may contribute to a disconnect between immigrant parents and their first-generation children, such as language, growing up in different cultural contexts and social norms, care for the family and community’s thoughts and words, comparisons with children within the family and within social circles, and a difference in markers of adulthood/independence.

Relationships

The romantic love lives of South Asians can sometimes be an affair of more than just the two beings involved in the relationship. Due to the family-oriented culture of South Asians, family has usually been involved since the beginning of the relationship and well after the marriage. This has been changing over time as South Asian youth are taking charge of our romantic love lives and the decisions we make. In other cases, some South Asians keep their romantic relationships from their families when they find it doesn't align with their family's belief systems.

“The stress of keeping a relationship secret from family can manifest as a multitude of feelings (e.g., guilt, shame, anger), mental health challenges (e.g., anxiety, depression symptoms), and physical concerns (e.g., overeating, sleep disturbance, headaches)” (Khera & Ahluwalia, 2021).

This can also be seen reciprocated with more than just romantic relationships. Some of us may hide our friendships from our families when it is evident that they might not be accepted by our families because of differences in culture, race, class and gender. This is where we might find ourselves living a life of two identities or more. These identities are kept separate due to a clash of cultures that don't easily fuse together.

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Gender & Sexuality

It is often seen that conformity is demanded for binary genders when labeling material things, actions, chores, appearance, etc. as masculine or feminine. Social pressure to conform to one's assigned gender often causes divisions among loved ones. It allows for judgment based on beliefs rather than character. It allows for patriarchal oppression in households and communities . It can cause mental health issues when the pressure builds and affects the functioning of daily life.

Talking about sex and sexuality has been taboo in South Asian society for decades and, possibly, centuries. Engaging in physical expressions of one’s sexuality has and is continuously frowned upon and deemed as disrespectful, in the name of respect and honor, to the culture and its elders. Something similar plays out in multiple areas of young South Asians’ lives as they may keep up multiple identities to keep up the satisfaction of others.

Being South Asian and queer can come with a unique set of experiences as one may face the challenges of navigating the South Asian society and not being accepted. The term “log kya kahenge?” or “what will people think?” is all too familiar when one strays from conforming to unspoken, unwritten norms (of heteronormativity and patriarchy) in South Asian culture. Yet stifling one’s identity and sexuality can create stress and anxiety around fear of being exposed.

Impact of These Social Pressures

Responses to Stress

There are a many behaviors and physical responses that we now recognize as responses to stress but they can often go unnoticed or minimized in our South Asian communities. This is because there is a cultural taboo around feeling unwell physically or mentally because of a fear of being perceived as "weak" and a cause for embarrassment, particularly for men.

Trauma

The South Asian community has a unique set of traumatic experiences (racial discrimination, gender discrimination, physical/sexual assault, intergenerational trauma) that affect individuals and their mental health. If left unprocessed and untreated, it can affect the day-to-day functioning of individuals and their relationships. Without proper help and support, these traumatic experiences can create dire consequences later in life.

Mental Illnesses: Depression/Anxiety

Mental illnesses like depression and anxiety can be seen when South Asians develop trauma responses from past experiences with a variety of social pressures. Depression and anxiety are some of the most common diagnoses for South Asians across the globe. These mental illnesses are often left undiagnosed for South Asians due to a lack of mental health awareness and somatization of symptoms aligning with mental illness.

Burnout

South Asians usually experience multiple stressors at the same time in different aspects of their lives such as issues with family, work, friends, society, and self. The expectations and responsibilities of South Asians of varying ages can become overwhelming and difficult to keep up with resulting in burnout. Burnout often impacts women more in our society because of the pressures we face to endlessly give of ourselves to others within a patriarchal system, and constantly provide emotional care and support in our families.